Since I was quite young I used to have a feeling in the back of my head. That why am I the person that I am, Why am I not that person, or that dog? Why was I born in the family that I am born in? I was looking at my life from a very different and unique perspective, which was from outside my body and mind. In this perspective, I was experiencing the world as just my soul.
I used to have these thoughts when I was little. These thoughts at that time used to feel very weird to me and I was afraid to share them with anyone. And eventually, my nimble mind was absorbed by the complexities of life and these thoughts and ideas were buried deep inside. And I had forgotten about such ideas for all these years but today all of a sudden these feelings flooded into my system. They came back to me while I was reading a deep and thought-provoking article by Benjamin P. Hardy.
In this article, he is talking about “How To Be Free From All Emotional Blocks And Fears”, in which he mentions that “You are not your fear. You experience your fears“. Reading this I knew that the writer has seen the world from the same perspective as I have. That is from the Outside, which is the perspective of the soul, the entity which experiences everything in our life. And when you look at yourself from this perspective you realize the true meaning of everything and how they affect you.
The first step in living a life of freedom is to realize that you are not your fears. You experience your fears. Similarly, you are not your thoughts. You are aware of your thoughts. You are not even your body. Rather, you are the being inside experiencing and operating your body.
Memories – Ingredient of Nightmares
Looking at you life from this perspective is a weird feeling, you realize how lonely you are. Even if you have the best of relationships, the most amazing friends, or even the greatest Mother, you will know that inside your head you are all alone with just your memories and emotions. These memories and emotions are those which we have been avoiding for so long, burying them, hiding them deep inside of us too scared to face them. And memories are the most dangerous things to encounter in life.
Our beloved Joker explains about memories the best:
“MEMORY’S SO TREACHEROUS. ONE MOMENT YOU’RE LOST IN A CARNIVAL OF DELIGHTS, WITH POIGNANT CHILDHOOD AROMAS , THE FLASHING NEON OF PUBERTY, ALL THAT SENTIMENTAL CANDY-FLOSS …
THE NEXT , IT LEADS YOU SOMEWHERE YOU DON’T WANT TO GO…
…SOMEWHERE DARK AND COLD, FILLED WITH THE DAMP, AMBIGUOUS SHAPES OF THINKS YOU’D HOPED WERE FORGOTTEN.
MEMORIES CAN BE VILE, REPULSIVE LITTLE BRUTES. LIKE CHILDREN, I SUPPOSE. HAHA.
BUT CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT THEM? MEMORIES ARE WHAT OUR REASONIS BASED UPON. IF WE CAN’T FACE THEM, WE DENY REASON ITSELF!
ALGHOUGH, WHY NOT? WE AREN’T CONTRACTUALLY TIED DOWN TO RATIONALITY!
THERE IS NO SANITY CLAUSE!
SO WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF LOCKED ONTO AN UNPLEASANT TRAIN OF THOUGHT, HEADING FOR THE PLACES IN YOUR PAST WHERE THE SCREAMING IS UNBEARABLE, REMEMBER THERE’S ALWAYS MADNESS.
MADNESS IS THE EMERGENCY EXIT…
YOU CAN JUST STEP OUTSIDE, AND CLOSE THE DOOR ON ALL THOSE DREADFUL THINGS THAT HAPPENED. YOU CAN LOCK THEM AWAY…
― Alan Moore,
The words above may sound crazy to you on first look, maybe on the second read, you will realize okay they might mean something. But when you actually start to understand what they really mean, I promise you will be scared. Because facing the demons inside your head is not easy, and it is natural to be scared. Because they make you uncomfortable, they make you feel out of your depth.
But as it is said so often you grow outside your comfort zone, and when you face your memories you are going outside your comfort zone. And memories being the toughest of all to handle can really help you grow as a person. Because by understanding your memories and your emotions for those memories you gain self-awareness. You understand who you are as a person and how you react to certain situations and that gives you insight into your psyche.
Let’s Face it
So today let’s find our inner self, our soul and see what it has experienced in our life so far. Let’s find those memories and emotions which we have buried deep inside. Let’s face those demons inside us and become the person that we want to become. But as you face them don’t forget you are not alone, we are all facing the same demons, we are all afraid. And we are fighting the same battle, so keep on fighting.